Orton prepares for Minnesota

Sunday 8:15 PM ET

Chicago Bears-vs-Minnesota Viqueens

Both teams are 6-5 on the year and sitting on top of the division. The winner of this game will have control of the NFC North. Hopefully the Bears will come away with the win. With Captain Neckbeard at the helm of the Bears offense, there is no reason why the Bears shouldn't come away with a win. If the Bears defense can contain Adrian Peterson, we will have no trouble shutting down Gus "Monday Night Headbutt" Frerotte. In the first meeting of the year between the Bears and the Viqueens, the Bears won 48-41 in a shootout. Neckbeard was 21 of 32 passes for 283 yards with 2 Touchdowns. He had a 114.5 rating, and he blew a .14 at the press conference after the game. As a proud Bears fan, I denounce the entire Minnesota squad as homosexuals. My prediction for the game......

73

7

The Bears will play flawless football, Neckbeard will throw for 7 touchdowns. Adrian Peterson will have a couple nice runs before coming out of the game halfway through the 1st quarter. DT Dusty Dvoracek will sideline him after ripping out his vertabrae. Looking at the game from a completely non-biased view, I will give the Viqueens enough credit to get on the scoreboard. Rex Grossman would come in for his now-annual 1 snap a year to kneel the ball. I think you know where this is going. He would fumble the snap, and fat-fuck Jared Allen would pick it up and run it in for the touchdown. Final Score : 73-7 Bears.

Neckbeard is to Jack Daniels

as

Rex Grossman is to Apple Cherry Wine Coolers